Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:00:00) – The views, thoughts and opinions expressed by the host and guests on this podcast are their own and do not represent the views, thoughts and opinions of UCLA Athletics, UCLA gymnastics, or the Bruins gymnastics alumni community. The content of this podcast is strictly for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice.
Peng Peng Lee (00:00:21) – So it was just so amazing to see all of the girls who struggled with in the year, and you’ve been through so much as a team to then go lights out in the last two events and really be there for each other. It was like we really were doing it for each other. It was. It was such an incredible experience and I didn’t believe we won until that. I saw that trophy come over. I’m like, there is no way, like they scored this wrong. Like I need to see the results.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:00:50) – Welcome to the Bruin gymnastics edition of the Resilience to Brilliance podcast, where you’ll be inspired by riveting behind the scenes stories of UCLA gymnastics legends. I’m your host, Kim Hamilton Anthony.
Here we go.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:01:10) – What happens when perseverance meets adversity? You develop resilience. Peng Peng Lee has had plenty of resilience training as she’s worked to overcome challenges that came very close to derailing her gymnastics career. But with the help of supportive parents and coaches who saw greatness in her even when she was sidelined, she was able to achieve what few gymnasts have ever done. She competed on the Canadian national team. She was a three time medalist at the Pacific Rim Championships and the honorary team captain at the 2012 Olympics. At UCLA, she was a nine time All-American, the 2018 national beam champion, and she finished her career having scored ten perfect tens. I sat down with Peng to discuss her gymnastics journey and how she pressed through multiple injuries and finished her collegiate career with a storybook ending. Here’s part two of her story.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:02:13) – Peng in our last episode, we left off with you blowing out your knee shortly before the 2012 Olympics, and how your positive attitude was such an asset for the team. You gave some advice for anyone who might be going through some struggles trying to reach their goal, and just the positivity that you exude as a person is contagious.
It really is. So during your time as you’re training for the Olympics, you’re the greatest Canadian athlete out there, right? You had to be recruited by several collegiate teams. So what made you choose UCLA?
Peng Peng Lee (00:02:55) – It’s so funny because a lot of people think I was recruited by a lot of schools. I was only recruited by UCLA.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:03:03) – No way. You are kidding?
Peng Peng Lee (00:03:04) – So what had happened was what happened. What happened was we’ll take it back to high school when I had my back injury. And for a lot of people who are maybe just listening to this podcast right now, but I had a year injury that took me out of the sport for a year or, yeah, a back injury that took me out for a year. And I remember my teammate had gone off to UCLA. I don’t even know what UCLA is. I’m Canadian. I’d only heard of Stanford and Yale. So UCLA was a little foreign to me. And she called me one day and said, you know, Peng, you got to check out UCLA. I’m having so much fun. And, you know, she was a little more serious in the gym. And I was thinking in my head, you’re having a lot of fun in the gym. No way. I got to see this.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:03:48) – So that about I said, what is that about?
Peng Peng Lee (00:03:51) – Like, I don’t remember you having like, ever saying, you know, training was so fun. So I ended up telling my family, I said, we got to go visit Elyse Hopfner-Hibbs at UCLA. She said she’s having so much fun. And so they had I think it was yeah, they had a meet. And so I came down, flew down with my family. My whole family came and we ended up meeting this valley for the first time, or which I thought was the first time she actually came to our gym when I was ten. But, you know, she was allowed to talk to me, so I just I don’t remember her being there. And she she loves to tell this story because I just ignored her. I don’t remember her being there.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:04:28) – You’re Ten.
Peng Peng Lee (00:04:29) – Hey, I’m ten. Yeah. So I met her for the first time at UCLA. I said this was amazing. I wasn’t a gymnast, so, you know, I was only allowed to do planks and bird dogs. Wasn’t allowed to run jump at the time. This is when I had my back injury. I was in a very depth of my back injury and she asked me, she said, Peng, what do you want to do? You know when you’re finished this year of you rehabbing? And I said, well, am I going to tennis? Maybe golf because, you know, my body. They told me I would never be a gymnast again. And so she said, oh, do you ever think about doing gymnastics again? And I said, yeah, I don’t know if I can because they said that I can’t. And so it was interesting because I told her I wasn’t allowed to bend my back anymore. So bridges were out. I wouldn’t want to back walkover.
Front, front aerial a lot of maybe a lot of things. Gymnastics requires your back flexibility. And so she was kind of we were going through my routine and she said, you know, gymnastics in college is a lot different than elite gymnastics. So I wanted to do 2012 Olympics and then be done with gymnastics and then go into the entertainment space. And for me, that was my goal. So I didn’t even look at college gymnastics. But Ms. Val was just saying, you know um, college gymnastics, the difficulty is a lot different than elite gymnastics. And so we were kind of running through routines and in my head I’m like, I think I can do that. That seems a lot less than I thought. I thought it was like elite gymnastics. And so we were going through routines and I kind of started getting a little excited. And I said, honestly, I think if if my back allows it, that sounds really like I’ve been doing these skills for so long, I think, I think I can do it.
And so it was interesting cause she actually offered me a full scholarship on the spot, and I think we were all in shock at first.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:06:17) – What? Okay, so you aren’t even doing gymnastics. At that time?
Peng Peng Lee (00:06:25) – No. And I wasn’t even a gymnast. I didn’t even have gymnastics in my future. And the way she worded it was, if you were to come back and do gymnastics again, we would love to have you on the team. And so, like, you’re shocked. I was shocked. I was like, I’m not even part of I was thinking in my head, I need to find a gym club. I don’t have a coach. I’m not on the Canadian National team anymore.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:06:48) – When was the last time you put on a leotard?
Peng Peng Lee (00:06:50) – Yeah, I don’t even remember. I think it was like a swimsuit at that point, but I was I was in shock. So in my head it was I was a little confused and she said, why don’t you sleep on it? And, you know, and we can talk about it the next day.
So at that point I got to know the team. I saw the meet. They had so much fun. It was like chaotic fun, like it was organized chaos is how I said it. And my parents talked to me and my mom and dad were just like, you know, you might as well take it. She’s offering it to you. Like, I remember my mom saying this, but think, she she thinks she said it differently so it could be wrong. But I just remember her saying like, well, you should take it, cause don’t think you’re gonna get another offer because you’re injured. I’m injured. Like I’m not even a gymnast. Right? And so no one is.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:07:39) – No one is recruiting you, right?
Peng Peng Lee (00:07:40) – No one’s recruiting me. Absolutely no one. It was the only school I came to visit. I knew that the entertainment capital was Los Angeles, and that’s kind of what I wanted to get into as a career after. And so I was thinking in my head, yeah, I’d love to come to UCLA. So the next day I told Ms. Val and I told her that I would love to come to UCLA. And so we verbally committed. And it’s so funny because if you ask the coaching staff this story, half of them were not on board and they all looked at Ms. Val like she was crazy because it’s like, yes, you just offered an injured athlete a scholarship. And it was so funny because she was like, but she would she’ll be great if she comes back.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:08:22)- So Ms.. Val is so unconventional. Just about everything she does is just it’s she’s she takes a risk and usually she chooses well. So
Peng Peng Lee (00:08:35) – It was it was great because again, I think after I verbally committed, it was kind of out in the gymnastics world. When I came back, it was not on the gymnastics world yet because I wasn’t a gymnast. But once I started getting back, I then got recruited by Stanford. But I declined respectfully because I told them I was going to UCLA. So I think after that everyone knew I was going to UCLA.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:08:54) – Ok Yeah. And Stanford was one of the only schools you had even heard of other than Harvard. Is that right?
Peng Peng Lee (00:08:59) – Think yeah, I if I was a new college, I originally wanted to go to Stanford, but then again, Miss Val just had me hook, line and sinker. Exactly.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:09:09) – She swooped in. Now, I had a similar experience. When I came to UCLA. I came out of a gym where it was you weren’t allowed to have fun, you had to focus, and you had to always keep moving. And you’re always going, going, going. And I didn’t know what it was like to have fun. I mean, we would sneak and have fun with each other, you know, my teammates. But when I came to UCLA, I was only coming for a week. I had already signed, but I decided I didn’t want to continue in gymnastics. I had only um yeah, I didn’t want to come. I was burned out. It was just I didn’t want to do gymnastics anymore. And my mom said, Kim, if you go to UCLA for one week and you don’t like it, you can come home. So during that one week when I walked into that gym and I saw all the fun they were having and the hard work that they were still putting in while having fun, I thought, hmm, I could get used to this.
Peng Peng Lee (00:10:06) – Right?
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:109:08) – So it was that atmosphere at UCLA that made me love gymnastics again.
Peng Peng Lee (00:10:14) – I it was so much fun. Again, I think I was very lucky to have a great elite experience. I was very close with the girls in my gym, and UCLA reminded me of my club gym at home, and I had a lot of fun. Again, I was older in the elite world, so I was able to go out with other gymnasts in other countries, and I was kind of allowed to experience those things. And when I came to UCLA, it was more of a fun adventure for me. And I love meeting new people. It was really fun to be on a team. And, you know, as much fun as elite gymnastics was, I was still an individual athlete. And I felt like it because, you know, we all came from different gym clubs. But UCLA, it felt so tight knit. And I just remember alumni would come in and it just felt so much like a family. And it’s really hard to not be drawn to UCLA. In my opinion. It might be biased, but when I was there it was so much like practices were full of laughing. You know, we had the hard conversations, we went through all the struggles together, and I think that was the thing. So we went through it together. It’s not like we all went through it separately, we Ms. Val we really made sure and the coaching staff, we would go through it together.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:11:29) – Truly as a team.
Peng Peng Lee (00:11:30) – Um Hm, Yeah.
Kim Anthony Hamilton (00:11:32) – So let’s talk about your freshman year at UCLA. So you’re coming of a the knee injury. Uh, what was that like for you? How did your freshman year work out?
Peng Peng Lee (00:11:44) – Yeah, I knew I was already not going to compete the first year, so I had come in with a torn ACL. I was actually very nervous that I was going to lose my scholarship at the beginning, and I. And it was great because, again, Ms. Val and I were having conversations back and forth, and she was very, very positive and very optimistic with me and also kept me motivated. So my first year was interesting. I was still finding my voice on the team. I was uh I was a big people pleaser, so I never really put my foot down. And there was a lot of drama my freshman year. But at the same time, it it was a lot of fun, but it was also very hard. I was away from my family, although I didn’t really get homesick. I think I was just missing the advice of my parents. And it, It really taught me to be a teammate. And Miss Val would you know, I came in limping. I was two weeks out of surgery, I think, and we had to do a team activity on the beach. And I was thinking my head, I can’t walk on the beach like I just got out of surgery. So I told Miss Val because, you know, I knew her better. So I asked her and I was like, well, what am I supposed to do? She goes, well, you’re on the team. You have to talk to your teammates and figure it out. And for me, who is not a very outspoken person or not very confrontational at the time, and I was so scared I’d be like, hey guys, I can’t partake in this activity, but I need you guys to find me a role, please.
And so but it it freshman year actually really helped me to break out of my shell and learn to talk to people in a respectful, honest way cause I, you know, I didn’t like confrontation. And so freshman year was very hard injury wise. And learning how to be a good teammate without being on the competition floor. But again, I kind of really just dove into being a regular student also. Went to all the dorm events and made time to hang out with the athletes and it was a lot of fun, social like. The social aspect of it was super fun. The athletic part was very hard because of me finding my place on the team and me doing rehab and trying to feel like I was worth my scholarship on the team with an injury.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:14:03) – Did you feel pressure?
Peng Peng Lee (00:14:06) – Um I didn’t feel pressure because I already knew I wasn’t competing, so there was no pressure to me. But when I came back, I felt a little pressure because I was recruited as a all round athlete and I felt a little pressure to kind of keep my name, you know, like it was. Oh, Peng’s coming to UCLA. He’s like, really? You know, they would say like he’s really good on these events. And she has this skill and that skill. And I already knew that if I could come back from my back injury, I knew I could come back for my knee injury. It wasn’t as long I could still condition. So I wasn’t concerned at all about my gymnastics. But I did feel pressure to kind of I wanted to be anchor, you know, on those certain events that I was really good at, like bars and beam. And so I just wanted to uphold the expectation that I had when I came in. So there were a little bit of pressure, but only more so when I came back from my injury.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:15:06) – Okay. Okay. So your sophomore year, you. I’m sure you had some goals set…
Peng Peng Lee (00:15:12) – Oh, yeah
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:15:14) – You’re ready to step onto the floor as a Bruin. How did that play out for you sophomore year?
Peng Peng Lee (00:15:18) – Oh, man. So I was coming back. I spent a whole year in rehab. I was training, doing my skills. And I then was. I just remember one day we were doing leap passes and we were doing leaps across the floor, and my knee just tweaked. And I told Ms. Val, you know, hey, like my knee, it’s not it doesn’t feel right. And remember they said, oh, like, have everyone check it out. They thought my ACL was still there at the time. So they were like doing all the checks. And they said her knee seems fine. And so I kind of was like, I feel like we should get an MRI because when I jump, it’s something’s moving. So and it didn’t feel stable at all.
So we got into an MRI and I went to the doctor, sat down the doctor, and he looked at the scans and he just goes, well, your ACL is not there. And I was like what do you mean it’s not there? He’s like, well, it didn’t take your body. It disintegrated because I had a cadaver done. So I actually had a another tendon, foreign tendon in my body and my body rejected it. I was so I was mortified. I went into a whole disbelief. I think that second time hearing it was worse than the first time I tore it, because I had spent a year in rehab and I just remember bawling. I didn’t have my parents. It’s not like my parents are there to hug me, and I could go home and just be in a shell. I had to walk from the athletic center all the way back to the dorms. I’m like crying. My eyes are red. Ms. Val immediately texted me and she said, I’m so sorry. And you know, a lot think she told a lot of the girls and all the girls started texting me. It was like a flood of messages and they. I ended up sleeping over two teammate’s house.
That night I slept over at Sam Peszek’s house and they got me candy and they got me a bunch of like, you know, just junk food to kind of binge. And it was it was really sweet. Like, that was really rough. And I just remember a guy coming out of the elevator thinking, it’s just football player. I’m like, oh man. Like, so you’re the last person I want to see right now. And he looked at me. He’s like, what’s wrong? And I was like, found out my my ACL torn again. And he goes, so right. He’ll bounce back. And like he was very calm about it. And I’m like, aren’t you sad for me?
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:17:31) – Why aren’t you sad for me?
Peng Peng Lee (00:17:34) – No. But it it was very devastating like that. That was harder than my first time because I knew I had to go through the exact same rehab. And rehab is not fun. It’s very boring.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:17:46) – No. Oh. So how long did it take for you to come back from that injury? Did you have to stay out the whole year? When were you to start training again?
Peng Peng Lee (00:17:56) – We ended up so I had my surgery in October. So I went through all of freshman year leading up to season. And I remember like it was like the last Halloween party. And we were like, yeah, this is the night before surgery or whatever. And I remember going into surgery in October and it was, it was a long process. It took a year. So I don’t think I started really gearing up to do skills until probably like the summer before my junior year, and we already knew I was taking a year off again. So I think. But you know what? Like when I look back at it, if I hadn’t had those two years, I don’t think I would have grown as much as a person because I really had to learn how to speak up. I really learned how to be a good teammate. I learned how to lead without uh leading by example. It was leading by example in a different way, and it was with a positive attitude. It was by doing my rehab, being diligent in the gym and, you know, studying with the girls and kind of being that positive outlook rather than being positive and doing my skills. So I actually am very, you know, again, it’s like a blessing in disguise for me. I was able to have my two years of just being a regular student. I felt comfortable coming into my junior year. I almost felt like a veteran at that point. So competing for the first time, I’m like, I know what I’m doing.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:19:22) – Oh, now how how did you get to the point where you were able to continue the fight and not give up? I mean, twice you had to go through this rehab.
It’s long, it’s arduous. It’s like, oh, you know, I just imagine that some people who continue to go through adversity time and time again, sometimes it’s easy to give up because you just feel feel like, okay, what’s the use? How’d you do it Peng?
Peng Peng Lee (00:19:53) – It was very frustrating. I think just being a student at UCLA and knowing my goals and aspirations, I had jam sessions with my dorm mates. I found a group of people who loved music and would host jam sessions at my apartment. I would host jam sessions at the dorm, like once a week, and we would just kind of do it as a stress reliever. We bring in all our instruments and we just started singing and and playing like, you know, people who are just learning instruments. They would come in and it was so much fun. I had a lot of fun at UCLA, and that kind of helped me to balance all the injuries, because I didn’t want to get stuck in the mindset of, oh, I’m injured. I can’t do anything but think because of my injury in high school and what my parents showed me when I was younger is that there’s still so much to do. So I ended up auditioning for like acapella group. I didn’t get in, but I ended up auditioning. I would go, we want to go watch, like the lunar eclipse. I would go on adventures. I was I was having a lot of fun in college. So it was, it was a great time for me to really just live life and kind of like do my work in the gym, but also really enjoy my teammates, really enjoy being in California. We’d go adventuring to all the, the tourist spots.
And the one thing though, when I was coming back, I still kept getting injured. So I had a thumb surgery, I had a meniscus surgery, and I was trying to gear up for 2016 Olympics. And I think that’s also what kept me going. Is that a new like right, this is fine. We’re on a two year hiatus. It’s okay. I’ve done one year before. So I think in my head, like I knew I could do it. I think I just had that. I know I can do it mindset. But when the injury started catching up, it wasn’t as fun anymore, like it was it was very mentally draining. I actually had told myself in my fourth year because I knew I was going to do a fifth year, and I told her my fourth year, I said, I don’t want to be here. And that was in the middle of season. And I told her, I said, I think I’m going to quit because it was too much for me and not so much the schooling and being an athlete. It’s just gymnastics itself. And it’s not. It wasn’t the teammates, it wasn’t anything like that. It’s just I was so tired of having to call my mom and be like, I’m injured again, crying on the phone and her having to come down for another surgery, going under, getting all these drugs and like it, like me feeling nauseous and like falling behind in school because of my injuries and surgeries. So I was getting really exhausted and I just felt like I wasn’t confident. My body didn’t feel confident in the gym, like I felt like I was going to break at any point. And so I actually told Ms. Val about during my fourth year, I didn’t want to do it anymore. And I remember her saying that she looked at me in the eye and she said, well, Peng, you’re going to have to tell your teammates that. And so when she told me that sound.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:22:39) – You sound just like her.
Peng Peng Lee (00:22:40) – I spent so much time with her, she she looked at me in the eye. And when she said that, I said, I don’t want to tell my teammates that I’m going to wait till after season. So after I got my surgeries later, back on my surgeries, we went through season again and in my head I was like, okay, I have one more year. I have one more year, my fifth year. Why don’t we just enjoy it like I’m so over it? I don’t want to be here. I think I took the summer off we were supposed to do like conditioning and stuff, but I’m like, I need a break. Like, this is I didn’t even want to do college gymnastics. So for me, it was like, I need a mental. Break from being injured. Even being a gymnast like I was very much prepped when I was younger to do 2012, be done as a gymnast. And so I said, I’m just going to try and enjoy this fifth year. And my mom was saying, you know, you have such an amazing opportunity in front of you, so you might as well do as much as you can, right to enjoy it and not focus on, wow, I can’t do floor my knees not holding up. I’m not doing the skills that I want to do. It’s, it’s too hard, too difficult. It was more like, oh, you know what? I have another year in California. It’s sunny all the time. There is. It’s summer, like the whole year. That is just kind of even if it wasn’t gymnastics related, it’s all the other things I had to think about to help me through my fifth year. And that’s when I don’t know if you want me to go to my sixth year, but that’s kind of how the sixth year thing came about.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:24:07) – Okay, so, so let’s, do let’s go to your sixth year. So you ended your UCLA career having scored ten, ten point OS, which is. Absolutely amazing.
Peng Peng Lee (00:24:23) – It’s nuts
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:24:24) – It’s just unbelievable playing. So you score ten tens. And I wish that we could talk about all ten of those routines. Would love to know what you were thinking and how that felt for you. But we only have time to talk about one of those routines. And the one I’m going to go to is probably one you realize I would talk about is, oh yes, final routine. Okay. So your 2018 NCAA national championships and you were up last on beam. You had just scored a ten on bars the rotation before. Oh congratulations.
Peng Peng Lee (00:24:07) – Thank you.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:25:02) – So tell me your mindset. Tell me what you were thinking, how you felt when you were competing.
Peng Peng Lee (00:25:10) – It was a lot of emotions because not only did I get a ten on bars, and I had actually gotten to ten on both events one time during the season, that season, and I remember like, oh, can I do it again? You’re like, you know, playing all this mind games. Like, is it what was it a fluke? I don’t know. And I got a ten on bars in it. Again, we were kind of down in the rankings as a team. And so what I was really focusing on was this is the last time I’m going to be here ever with my team. Like, this was the last gymnastics thing of my entire career. And it was it was getting to me and I started getting really nervous. So during before I got up on being, I couldn’t watch any of my teammates and I’m normally cheering them on. I couldn’t watch any of them. I was so nervous. I was doing visualization like a madman on the floor, like I had never done that many visualized routines in my life. And I remember going up to this Val because I was freaking out and we didn’t know. I didn’t know that we had a chance at winning at that time. So I was really solely focusing on the energy and the love with the team. And before my last beam routine, I went up to her and I just said, Miss Val, I’m so nervous. I looked at her and I said, But I’m going to take my sweet time. Like I’m going to soak in everything. Like. And she didn’t say anything to me. She goes, okay, great. And so I went up, chalked up. I took a deep breath. I started smiling because I said, you know what? This is literally the last time I’m going to be up here ever. So I just soaked it all in. I think if you watch, like I’m smiling throughout the whole thing. I was very aware. Very aware. And if you were to really watch my routine, like I was kind of crooked to like, it wasn’t a perfect routine in the way that was set up. I felt very good in it and like, my back handspring wasn’t that straight, but I was like, yeah, no, this is this is my last back handspring thing ever. And so I was like playing it off. Like I was like, yes, this is amazing. And then I just remember doing my spin double and it was a little off. But then I just kept like pushing through it. I felt like I was performing like I would, I would never stop,
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:27:18) – And you looked good. So good.
Peng Peng Lee (00:27:20) – Thank you. And it was so funny because in that the middle of my routine, I looked at the end of the beam and you the the corral, the Utah corral was cheering me on and thought it was so nice. Like that was my thought. In the middle of the routine, I was like, wow, that’s so nice that they’re cheering me on because it’s a whole different team and think nationals as a whole. another amazing event in itself that I think a lot of gymnasts have respect for seniors in their last meet, and we’re always cheering on other seniors who had been competing at nationals, and it’s really cool to see other teams cheering you on. So when I landed, it was like it was unreal. Like I went right to my teammates and I felt like I had just done the best routine of my life.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:28:02) – And it looked amazing. It was truly a stunning routine. And you you do. You smiled throughout. You were performing and I cannot get out of my mind your face when you did took that salute. It was just it gives me chills even to think about it. I, I tear up every time I think about that. It was such a powerful moment in your life and for the team, because you helped clinch that national title that year, the seventh national title, right?
Peng Peng Lee (00:28:35) – It’s crazy because we had no idea. So if you saw everyone crying on the floor, it was just because we had such a strong comeback and we thought we got second. We were like, maybe we got second or third and and second. Yeah, we were so happy for each other. And I think because those two routines bars, even though, like maybe when I entered my back handspring, it was a little crooked. Genuinely, those two routines were probably the best routines I’ve ever done in my career. Even on bars. It was the best routine I’d ever competed. And so think too, like a lot of girls were having the PR or they had their best routines and of that season. And so it was just so amazing to see all of the girls you struggled with in the year, and you’ve been through so much as a team to then go lights out in the last two events and really be there for each other. It was like we really were doing it for each other. It was. It was such an incredible experience and I didn’t believe we won until that saw that trophy come over. I’m like, there is no way, like they scored this wrong. Like I need to see the results because again, like I wasn’t paying attention, so I was, I was in disbelief when I saw UCLA above everyone.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:29:43) – Oh, what a way to end your career. And I mentioned earlier that it was such a special routine. The win for you, the win for UCLA was huge, but I think. Just after hearing your entire story. It’s all the more special. Peng, what you’ve been through is it’s, it’s amazing. It really is.
Peng Peng Lee (00:30:07) – Thank you. I appreciate it I it it was one of the most incredible experiences I’ve had in my life. And again, like, I’ve learned that because I’m five years out, I’m not trying to recreate that moment. I’m like, you know what that moment is? It’s moment And that’s why it was so special. And so it’s really fun. Like going back, I’ve logged that entire year. So I took my camera everywhere because I’m like, I don’t want to forget my sixth year. I think that’s kind of where I was at. I because I used to journal a lot and I would write stories about my competitions. I’d write down, I think the first time I went to France for a competition when I was 12, I wrote, had a diary, and I wrote it down and was just talk about food. I was like, wow, there’s a really good steak that I had. It was like, you know, 12 year old I care.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:30:50) – That’s what we care about most, right. Food.
Peng Peng Lee (00:30:52) – Exactly. But I was like, oh, be so fun to video it and I’m so happy I video recorded because we, my teammates and I will watch, you know, the vlogs every now and then. And we’re just saying, oh, there was such a fun time in our life. And even though I was injured a lot of the times, I was so fortunate that, you know, I had those two injuries because that 2018 team, like, I just feel so bonded with them and it truly was a special team. Like there was so much love on the team and we really cared for each other. It was like it. It just felt like a family. And I feel like I could call a lot of the girls on the team. And just like, even if I talked to them in a while and we like we’re sisters. We’re never, we’re never not going to be family, you know?
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:31:38) – Right. That’s beautiful. I love that for you. Yeah. All right, baby. Let’s talk about what you’re doing these days. Yeah. Okay, so what’s making your heart sing?
Peng Peng Lee (00:31:51) – Oh, I’ve been adventuring in a lot of different projects, and I really dove into the entertainment industry. It’s been so much fun just doing a lot of things that I’ve been wanting to do as a little kid. You know, I’ve had. Even though a lot of people think the Olympics was my one all only dream. I’ve had other dreams, and when I was younger I used to sing a lot and write music, and so I’ve been in the studio a lot recently. I do feel like a whole brand new gymnast. That is like coming to a new gym and like I’m learning all these skills. So it’s it’s kind of funny how I was giving all this advice to your athletes about gymnastics. Feel like I’m taking that advice into music right now. And I’ve ventured on into content creating. So it’s been it’s been a lot of fun, and I feel like I’m very fortunate to have a career that allows me to be creative. And honestly, it’s I am taking a lot of things that I’ve learned in gymnastics, and I’m also carrying it with pride.
I think after I finished gymnastics, I was so happy to be done with it, even though, you know, it was a great last year, I was ready to close the chapter. I didn’t want to talk about gymnastics. I didn’t want to be in a gym. Like I just wanted to be a free soul. But now I’m kind of I’m taking a lot of pride in, like, I know I was a gymnast that differentiates me. That was my past. Like, I’m very proud. But I think the past after I graduated, it was very hard to assimilate into just adulting and I wasn’t I don’t know, I truly thought like, why did I do gymnastics? It’s not it wasn’t worth it in a way. Like I was having all these negative thoughts. But then again, like I’ve come, I’m at a point right now where I’m like, no, I’m so proud to be gymnast. I should be proud of myself. And it was a very hard transition out. But again, right now I’m solely focused on my creative journey. And it’s been, it’s been amazing to take that gymnastics background with me into that creative process.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:33:55) – Um hm. There’s so many transferable concepts from gymnastics that you can take into just about any profession. I love that. So you are one of the things that you do in this entertainment world is you’re a social media influencer.
Peng Peng Lee (00:34:11) – Yes. Yes. That was a happy accident.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:34:16) – A happy accident? Okay, so you have around 5.6 million viewers on TikTok, and that was an accident? So do tell. How did you get started doing that?
Peng Peng Lee (00:34:26) – Okay, I say it was a happy accident because during Covid there was, you know, not a lot of things happening. And I went home to Canada. And so my mom’s like, you need to come home right now. So I went home to Canada. There’s nothing going on. And I said, I still want to, you know, create I want to still push myself. And a lot of the things I was doing after college had to do with gymnastics still. And my Instagram, my YouTube was all surrounded by gymnastics. And a lot of people are saying, well, why don’t you get into fitness? I’m like, I don’t want to work out. I worked out for my entire life like that would be pulling teeth for me to do, working out content. So for me, heard about this app called TikTok, and a lot of little kids were like, oh my God, like, have you done this dance? I’m like, I don’t know what that is.
And I remember I was like, you know what? I’m going to get on TikTok, not tell anyone about it and do all the things I want to do. All my entertainment dreams on this app. And so I was doing music. I was doing like a bunch of different things. And I just remember while I was creating, I was, you know, testing out things and I was like, oh, shoot, is gymnastics kind of the direction I have to go back in and, you know, a video did well. But then I started having a lot of fun with these editing tools. And so over Covid, I think I just it sparked a whole new interest in me. And I call it a happy accident because I never would have discovered it if I just didn’t give it a try. Like it wasn’t like I’m going to be a content creator. Like I never had that okay in my mind. So I call it Happy icing because I’m so fortunate that, you know, my videos were doing really well and it really excited me. And and it was exciting because no one knew I was a gymnast. And for me, that was very no. I did a flip in my video and I did splits and they were like, why is she so flexible? And then, you know, they, they were like, oh my gosh, you can flip. And I texted my teammates because again, you know, as a gymnast you do it your entire life. It’s your whole identity. And I think some gymnasts are tired and they just, you know, it’s a little burnout. You just want to be known for something else. And exactly. My teammates and I said, guys, they don’t even know I can flip.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:36:40) – Boy can she flip.
Peng Peng Lee (00:36:42) – Yeah, exactly. And I love that ambiguity. And just being able to be myself and not someone liking me for gymnastics, not someone liking me for what I can do because that was my identity my entire life. Like, oh, you can do that. I kind of like you because you do that specifically. So I wanted them to get to know me as a person and also my interests. And again, didn’t have gymnastics anymore. I was very happily retired. And so but content creation has been absolutely amazing. It’s been so much fun. It has its own ups and downs in itself, but I’ve been meeting lots of really cool people. It’s been opening doors for me, and I’m so thankful that I, you know, just continued on wanting to create and build a platform for myself cause I got that advice in college was since didn’t have time to do all the internships and all of that stuff. I treated social media like, kind of like my online LinkedIn in a way, but I was having a lot of fun.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:37:44) – There you go. Well, I have seen lots of your videos. They are so amazing. The tools. Thank you. I’m just like, how does she do that? And you do have the videos where you show how you’re doing it. I still don’t understand, but it looks good, it’s fabulous. And we are actually the opposite when it comes to social media. You, you wash your face, put on deodorant, change your clothes, you know, for on social media. And it’s hard for me to even put a quote out there, you know, a post, a post. Yeah. We’re total opposites. So what is it about social media and what you’re doing in that space that gives you the greatest joy?
Peng Peng Lee (00:38:32) – The thing that gives me the greatest joy. I wish I could meet all of my, I call them penguins. I wish I could meet them because I think I’m so accustomed to gymnastics that you meet the young gymnast and you get to talk to them and all that stuff. And I think the greatest joy for me in social media is when I went to VidCon this year, I actually got to meet some of those people, and I’d been doing content thing for two, two and a half years prior and didn’t really meet a lot of people. But the one thing that really gives me joy is being able to share my joy with them, and even like a positive message of like, oh, you made my day or something. And it just makes me feel so good that I made someone’s day, even if it’s like silly, cringey, dumb or whatever people want to think. But at the same time, when I met those people in person at VidCon, it was so cool. Like, again, because they didn’t know me as a gymnast, it was a completely different world. This one girl had a booth at VidCon. She stayed at my booth the entire day, and it was so sweet. She didn’t know I was a gymnast. She didn’t know Miss Val. She didn’t know UCLA. Like she just knew me as a content creator and she knew me for me. And it was so cool. It was like, I, I truly want to exuberant positivity in a different way now. Like not just through my injuries and all the hardships. It’s like, I truly want to brighten someone’s day and maybe, you know, make them laugh and make them smile. And it’s it just looks completely different now. And that’s kind of the one thing that I love about social media and I love the the ability to be able to have full creativity on what I want to do and share that journey with other people who are interested in that. So it’s really it’s a very like it’s almost like gymnastics in a way, but a whole different ball game of being able to create my own family, if that makes sense.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:40:25) – Oh, that sounds amazing. And I love the authenticity that I see in your videos. What you see is who you are. It truly is. A lot of people who reach your level of celebrity have to deal with people who may post some mean things sometimes. Yes. Has that ever happened to you?
Peng Peng Lee (00:40:46) – Oh yeah. It’s actually happened recently.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:40:48) – Oh.
Peng Peng Lee (00:40:49) – I actually called Miss Val. It’s so funny because I still call Miss Val, even if it’s non gymnastics related, just for life advice. And I for some reason don’t like talking about my social media sometimes because, you know, I think some people can take it as oh like if you don’t want to do it, then just stop. Like you don’t, you don’t have to post or you don’t have to do this. But to me it is a career. And it’s one of those things that’s helping me with pursuing more of the dreams that I want to do. And I again, when I say social media has been a roller coaster, it’s been a lot of highs. It’s been great. I’ve met a lot of amazing people. I’ve been at events and then it has its low moments for sure and think, right now, actually, you caught me at a good time. Right now I’m at a very low moment in social media, only because I think I do go through moments of sensitivity, and I’ve learned that sometimes when I do post things, I get negative comments like, you know, they’ll swear, they’ll be like, oh my gosh, I want to go kill myself because I saw this video and it’s very, very morbid. And that was the first time I’d ever experienced that. And I actually called Ms. Val and I said, I don’t know how to handle this. Like, I think right now I’m in a sensitive place. I’m okay. I told her, like, I’m fine. Actually, I just had a sensitive moment. I think I need to take a step back. And when that happens, like, I don’t want to stop posting, but I then kind of figure out what I want to post about. And the thing that got me through at the beginning was, I’m so excited about this, and I was so excited to post, like, new things, and I was proud of it. I didn’t care if it was cringey, I didn’t care anything because I’m like, I like this video, you know? Yeah. And it’s funny. I think as I got more into the space, I started getting a little more insecure and I started comparing myself to a lot of other creators and a lot of other people and think, because I was so new on the app, I just posted, and I walked away and I was at home with my family, so I kind of post and then walk away. But now, since I’m kind of at home a lot of the times and, you know, it’s um, I’m at home doing the social media stuff, but there’s not a lot of distraction for me, so I’m kind of on my phone.
So I’ve learned to, you know, post and then sometimes take a step back or only post certain, certain types of content that I’m proud of. So whatever anyone says, I’m still happy about it. But if I’m a little wishy washy about like, I don’t know if I don’t even like it and then someone comments negatively, then I’ve found myself going into a negative place of I’m looking for. A reassurance in the comments. And that was unhealthy for me. And. and I realized that talking to myself and I said, I don’t need the reassurance or I shouldn’t be posting for reassurance. I should be posting to make someone else happy and think I was then realizing it was getting a little negative for me. So I took a little step back and only had post things that I absolutely love. And so that’s kind of how I’ve been dealing with it, is more being very proud of what I post instead of just kind of like half again. I said this one last half booty-ing it.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:44:09) – Half booty.That’s that’s our new term half booty-ing it. I know. No, you know what I think about people who post those negative things? Most of the time there’s no truth in it, right? And a lot of times hurt people just hurt people. Right?
Peng Peng Lee (00:40:27) – That’s exactly what Ms. Val said. She said those exact same thing.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:44:09) – It is absolutely true. And sometimes when if someone is dealing with their own stuff and it’s hard for them, it’s also difficult for them to see someone else shining in their brilliance. Right? Because it reminds you of all the things that perhaps you can’t do or you haven’t have not chosen to do. And it’s convicting, maybe for some. And my heart really goes out for those people because, you know, especially when I think about you, you’re just this happy woman who’s doing her thing, having fun and and um trying to encourage others. And I appreciate that about you. So I love that you you have people that you can talk to when things like that happen. I love that you’ve come up with a solution. Okay, here’s how I’m going to to deal with it. Now speak to the person who may be dealing with mean people, whether it’s on social media or maybe it’s in school. You know, people can be very mean. How do, you how do you encourage them as they experience these things? We can’t change other people, but what can we do ourselves to help make a difference in how we feel and how we handle things?
Peng Peng Lee (00:45:55) – Yeah, it’s funny because when I talked to myself, she said those exact words hurt people, hurt people. And when I had that thought, I was saying, you know what? A positive person would never rip someone down. It’s just like when you’re in a negative place, that’s when all those instinctual thoughts come out and, you know, you kind of do things that you regret and all that stuff.But recently, what my best advice is, think about it. You have the courage to do it. You have the courage to put yourself out there. They don’t have the courage to do that. And that’s why they’re being a little more, you know, negative about it. And whether you’re doing singing or whether you’re doing a dance video or whatever you want to do, like you had the courage to do it and you can only get better. I think the one thing to even if it’s in school and you’re getting bullied and it happens, there’s things that people can’t take away from you. Yeah, sometimes maybe my singing videos aren’t like the best. But again, I’ve have like a singing coach, I have like the skills and tools from gymnastics and those are my work ethic are things that people can’t take away from me. So there are things that every individual has that’s positive that no one can take away from you. So whether you’re doing something and maybe like you tried and they’re ripping on you for trying, but you had the courage to try and there is no such thing as failure, is what I learned at UCLA. Because what we learned is if you fail, you actually succeeded in it. So you succeeded in something. And that’s kind of how, you know, that’s like the best advice. What I would give and or what I would actually say to someone is because you have to remember that courage is a skill. Courage is something that doesn’t come easily. It’s scary, and I remember Ms. Val telling me over the phone, she was saying, if you’re not in the arena fighting, if you’re not in the arena actually going for something or working hard or doing it, then you don’t have the right to say anything because you’re not in there. Okay, it’s pretty good. That was a pretty good one, huh?
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:47:59) – Yeah, that was pretty good. No, that’s, that’s great advice. Great advice. I’m going to provide you with a definition of a word that I coined. And after that, I’m going to ask you the final question. So I believe there’s this state of mind where individuals are operating out of the fullness of who they are and all they have to offer. So they’re utilizing their gifts, their talents, their personalities, everything that makes them uniquely them. And they’re experiencing this level of fulfillment of purpose, and it just makes their heart sing. I call this BrillianceMode. So my question to you is, what does living in BrillianceMode look like for you?
Peng Peng Lee (00:48:50) – Oh, I love BrillianceMode. I wish I could just turn that on all the time. BrillianceMode is truly it’s so fun. One of my teammates went into the spiritual route and we were talking and chatting, and I just remember like she read a quote to me and it was a playful quote and I was like, my BrillianceMode is truly when I play. I don’t worry about anything, I’m having fun, I’m not worried about any of the like, rules or, you know, the society and the structures. I’m just strictly having fun because when I have fun, I don’t feel judged, I don’t feel held back, I don’t feel like I can do any wrong. I’m just having fun.
Like. And I’m laughing if I fail to sow or not fail. But if I don’t do well and my BrillianceMode is truly just me playing and I’m out of my head, I’m. I feel not judged and I can laugh at even if I fall and, you know, just get through all those hard times. So it’s play. I have this thing on my wall and it says it’s playtime because it’s time to play. That’s what I have. So like, even if I’m going into like, say a situation where I’m stressed or I’m nervous, I’m like, wait, Peng, it’s time to play. It’s time to go. It’s time to just be because life is so short and I truly think, like life is meant to be able to be happy and enjoy even the hard moments. So again, it’s time to play. That’s my that’s my BrillianceMode.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:50:29) – Peng, Peng, your positivity and enthusiasm is absolutely contagious. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Peng Peng Lee (00:50:39) – Well, thank you so much.I love hanging out with former UCLA like sisters. It’s so great, I love it. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. It was great talking about gymnastics all over again.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:50:58) – I was already impressed by what I knew about Peng’s gymnastics career, but after my time with her, I was even more impressed with her as a person. My biggest takeaway from her story was how she realized early on that although her gymnastics career was a large part of her life, it didn’t define her as a person. She allowed herself to explore new things and found joy in developing her other talents as well. And even though her transition away from gymnastics wasn’t easy, I believe that it was her willingness to explore new things and adjust how she would pursue her career that actually ended up opening doors for her to do what she’d longed to do. The path to our goals they may not be straight ones or the obvious one, but if we don’t give up, but instead make some necessary adjustments along the way, the path we do take may end up making us better prepared and better equipped to live our wildest dreams. So remember, whatever you do, give it your all. And as Peng would say, don’t do anything half booty.
Kim Hamilton Anthony (00:52:24) – Thanks for listening. If you want to find more about Peng Peng Lee, check out our show notes on InBrillianceMode.com/podcast, and to connect with Bruin Gymnastics alumni on Instagram, follow us at UCLA Gym Alumni. For.
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