What motivates you to work? Why do you get out of bed every morning? Everyone has their reasons, but there is a common motivator that comes at the top of the list for many. Yet, this same incentive that drives us each day can also be the very thing that impacts our joy, whether we know it or not.
It is the motivation to work in order to create or increase the value of your identity.
Having worked with pro athletes and their families over the past 25 years and having been an elite athlete myself, I’ve learned quite a bit about the downfalls of using a career to define who you are. High-level athletes have the most difficult time retiring from their sport when the sport has become who we are and not just what we do. Many of us have competed since we were young and, upon retiring, have spent more years of our lives doing our sport than not.
We are coached to put training and competition first over sickness, injury, feelings, personal challenges, abuse, or anything else that might prevent us from making the team or getting the win. So in some cases, who you authentically are has to be put on the back burner to achieve the “greater good.”
Having the gift of athletic prowess is a part of who each athlete is, but it is not all they are. We see this as they express their personalities with what they wear and are passionate about, the causes they support, and their other talents that may begin to flourish after they retire from the sport. However, countless athletes wait too long to retire or go into deep depression when that season of life is over, because there is nothing they can do to ever match the physical and mental exhilaration and the applause that takes place when you compete at such a high level.
When Applause Defines Your Worth
When we receive applause because of our performance, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins get released. We feel good, happy, and like we are a part of a relationship with those who applaud us. In other words, we feel loved and accepted. So we want to repeat whatever behavior garnered the applause. We come to believe that if the crowd is not cheering, then we’ve lost our value. When the autograph seekers cease to disrupt our day, we feel ordinary. If we can’t maintain the lifestyle that leaves people in awe of what we drive, where we live, what we wear, and who we are with, then we feel like we are no longer good enough, but second-rate. We end up living in the shadow of “who we used to be.”
Perhaps you’re not an athlete, yet you work in an environment where the applause you seek looks like words of affirmation, pats on the back, pay raises, promotions and other kudos that make you feel loved and accepted. None of this is wrong, it only becomes a problem when we use the applause, in whatever form, to determine our value as a human being and to define our identity.
When we use our jobs to define who we are, it becomes too important. When anything in our lives becomes too important, we give it the power to control our emotions, direct our decisions, and steal our time. Instead of living authentically and taking charge of our life, we become pulled by that which increases our public importance instead of broadening our private peace.
We are all susceptible to being overly motivated to use our work to give us our identity. I struggled with it for quite a while. And as much personal work as I’ve done on identity, every now and then it still rears its ugly head and I have to check myself before it steals my joy, leads me down the wrong path, or causes me to lose time trying to prove myself. Prove myself? Yes, prove myself. And it’s never me trying to prove something to myself, although that would sound like a noble effort. No, it’s me trying to prove myself to others…So they know I am worthy of their time, their trust, or whatever other deficit I’m feeling when I slip back into believing that who I am outside of what I do is not enough.
A Common Connection: How Many Define Themselves Through Work?
A survey done by the Pew Research Center found that about 51% of employed Americans get a sense of identity from their professions. So if this stat still stands, this means that about half of us use our jobs to define who we are to some extent.
The study goes on to show that defining our identity by our work varies based on aspects like season of life, income level, industry, job type, and education. Those in more prestigious positions tend to be more likely to define themselves by what they do, and the value society assigns to their job title or industry becomes synonymous with who they are.
If your identity is determined by your job, what happens if you lose it or, for health reasons, you become unable to physically or mentally perform your duties? The outcome may be similar to that of a high-level athlete after the applause stops.
Own Your Identity, Elevate Your Work
What would your work days look like if instead of using your job to define your identity, you decided to own and empower your identity and use it to shape how you show up to produce excellence in the workplace?
The latter will put you in the driver’s seat and enable you to bring your best self, everyday, with confidence.